I Want to Work for Bernie Madoff

I think I have found my newest career path! I want to work for Bernie Madoff.

From what I have located via the The New York Post, Huffington Post and other Internet searching, here's a typical day at Madoff's fallen empire.

Madoff employees are still being paid. This is a pretty good gig since there is really no work needing to be accomplished. These folks are just biding their time until they get the official notice about the end of their corporate career with Madoff Investments.

The down side to working at Madoff's place is the lack of live telephone lines and unplugged computers. This makes searching for new work, blogging, setting up your own Ponzi scheme a little more challenging, but given the midtown Manhattan location, their may be some WiFi to be pirated or perhaps a BlackBerry to communicate with.

I love the quote from an unidentified employee: "It's pretty bad we can't conduct any business. We basically get there at 9, hang around, and go home at 5. It's surreal. It's also scary, because we don't know what's going on."

Let me help you, your employer allegedly screwed over lots of people and you should be hawking your proverbial wares to find a new job while you still are getting money from your old job. The employment market sucks and unemployed people absolutely don't need to be competing with you and your coworkers who will likely be dumped onto the market.

Here's a plan for the currently employed Madoff folks, take the time in your paid not to be busy days to do something worthy. Surely there is some way for you to give back to your community while you are stockpiling money to stave off bill collectors while you spend the next months attempting to find work.

Would any of you Madoff employees like some help with a resume update? I am really good at doing those and getting people jobs. I'll even give you a deal on pricing the resume competitively and with my strong verbal skills I can help you get beyond the Madoff "issues" and coach you on how to present that to a human resources professional.

Checking back on the unknown employee, you should be happy there are no live telephone lines in the office or all the investors that lost their proverbial butts would be calling and wondering why they can't get their money and yet you are being compensated to sit in the office all day. Hey, that almost sounds like an invitation to a bailout.

Care to talk back? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

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