What were your dreams when you were a child?
How about when you were a teenager and you thought you were indestructible and the world was a your feet?
Did your dream include dropping out of high school, becoming a "workin' man" and marrying the girl who has served as your girlfriend since you were about 14?
I know, I know! That is exactly all of our dreams too! What a concept.
Levi, please read this blog! Before the election on the first Tuesday in November, you have some amazing negotiating opportunities. In case you are unable to track down William Shatner, I would be willing to assist you in furthering your education and making a nice living for your soon to be increasing family.
Right now, you don't need to be a "workin' man" on the north slope apprenticing as an electrician. If you act fast, with some guidance, you too can be entrenched in the political machine racking up the big bucks -- and I don't mean ungulates. What you did to Bristol -- if you get my drift -- is just one way of describing what you could do to the Republican party. Again, you must act quickly in order to reap the benefits.
I did a quick look around to see what average wages were on the north slope doing the workin' man thing, and I am pretty certain that even the highest paying job will pale in comparison to the support and education that you are able to secure prior to 4 November 2008. Heck, I can help ya get the negotiatin' started before the debate this Wednesday. I betcha now that you have talked to the press, the GOP ain't gonna think, "It's pretty chill." anymore.
In case you are really into hockey, and I think you might be, here's a different way to think about this leverage. You now are in a position to have the ultimate hat trick. The campaign is going to keep encouraging you to avoid the media -- probably more so now that you stepped out into the spotlight again.
This will drag up the My Space page that you claim your friends put out there. Would those be fellow skaters who will be your groomsmen, Ben Barber and Dane Wilson? Isn't it strange how a small prank, a little sex and an unplanned pregnancy can turn your whole world upside down? Want to see how quickly you can whip the world into a ginormous feeding frenzy? Come out in full support of any candidate other than McCain and Palin. I know you aren't too savvy on politics, but I'll give you a freebie here, Obama is your man. See, just like shootin' with no goalie, don't cha know.
Another option for you is the naming rights to your spawn. This is a little more tricky than it sounds though. You will want to have someone good at negotiating assist you here too. I am again offering my services and will only take a small percentage of what we get for the naming rights. We can pro rate them too because you are much younger than I am and I know what I need.
Let's look up the page and consider Barack Obama Johnston. Oh yes, that has a nice cha-ching to it. Prefer something more commercial? How about a hockey related name? Hat Trick Johnston? No, lets go more commercial so you can rake in the bucks. Your future mom-in-law just got a rousing reception in Pennsylvania, what do you think about Flyers Johnston. Of course, I may be a bit quick on the Johnston here, perhaps the baby will be Palin or Palin-Johnston? Do you have Wal-Mart in your town? Wal-Mart Johnston. Target Johnston, that even has a hunting flair to it.
How about when you were a teenager and you thought you were indestructible and the world was a your feet?
Did your dream include dropping out of high school, becoming a "workin' man" and marrying the girl who has served as your girlfriend since you were about 14?
I know, I know! That is exactly all of our dreams too! What a concept.
Levi, please read this blog! Before the election on the first Tuesday in November, you have some amazing negotiating opportunities. In case you are unable to track down William Shatner, I would be willing to assist you in furthering your education and making a nice living for your soon to be increasing family.
Right now, you don't need to be a "workin' man" on the north slope apprenticing as an electrician. If you act fast, with some guidance, you too can be entrenched in the political machine racking up the big bucks -- and I don't mean ungulates. What you did to Bristol -- if you get my drift -- is just one way of describing what you could do to the Republican party. Again, you must act quickly in order to reap the benefits.
I did a quick look around to see what average wages were on the north slope doing the workin' man thing, and I am pretty certain that even the highest paying job will pale in comparison to the support and education that you are able to secure prior to 4 November 2008. Heck, I can help ya get the negotiatin' started before the debate this Wednesday. I betcha now that you have talked to the press, the GOP ain't gonna think, "It's pretty chill." anymore.
In case you are really into hockey, and I think you might be, here's a different way to think about this leverage. You now are in a position to have the ultimate hat trick. The campaign is going to keep encouraging you to avoid the media -- probably more so now that you stepped out into the spotlight again.
This will drag up the My Space page that you claim your friends put out there. Would those be fellow skaters who will be your groomsmen, Ben Barber and Dane Wilson? Isn't it strange how a small prank, a little sex and an unplanned pregnancy can turn your whole world upside down? Want to see how quickly you can whip the world into a ginormous feeding frenzy? Come out in full support of any candidate other than McCain and Palin. I know you aren't too savvy on politics, but I'll give you a freebie here, Obama is your man. See, just like shootin' with no goalie, don't cha know.
Another option for you is the naming rights to your spawn. This is a little more tricky than it sounds though. You will want to have someone good at negotiating assist you here too. I am again offering my services and will only take a small percentage of what we get for the naming rights. We can pro rate them too because you are much younger than I am and I know what I need.
Let's look up the page and consider Barack Obama Johnston. Oh yes, that has a nice cha-ching to it. Prefer something more commercial? How about a hockey related name? Hat Trick Johnston? No, lets go more commercial so you can rake in the bucks. Your future mom-in-law just got a rousing reception in Pennsylvania, what do you think about Flyers Johnston. Of course, I may be a bit quick on the Johnston here, perhaps the baby will be Palin or Palin-Johnston? Do you have Wal-Mart in your town? Wal-Mart Johnston. Target Johnston, that even has a hunting flair to it.
Anyway, dude, call or text me.
A Side Note:
"The GOP Vice-Presidential nominee said at an earlier fundraiser that she would stop some of the booing from the rowdy Philadelphia fans by putting her seven year old daughter, Piper in a Flyers jersey. She said, "How dare they boo Piper!"
Oh Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. How dare they boo Piper? How about how dare you use your seven-year-old-child to cover your own ass?
Additional Information for You:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081013/ap_on_el_pr/palin_wasilla_heartthrob Johnston
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081013/ap_on_el_pr/palin_troopergate;_ylt=AtW51.XXXN_Ubp8rNDpEcrlh24cA Troopergate
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/state_data/states/alaska.html Alaska Contraception
http://www.city-data.com/county/North_Slope_Borough-AK.html North Slope profile
http://freelevi.org/Real_Time_with_Bill_Maher.html Free Levi
http://snafu-ed.blogspot.com/
http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/2008/10/boo-birds.html Puck Drops Here
http://embeds.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/10/11/palin-drops-puck-at-flyers-game-receives-mixed-reaction/ Boo Piper from Fox News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081013/ap_on_el_pr/palin_wasilla_heartthrob Johnston
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081013/ap_on_el_pr/palin_troopergate;_ylt=AtW51.XXXN_Ubp8rNDpEcrlh24cA Troopergate
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/state_data/states/alaska.html Alaska Contraception
http://www.city-data.com/county/North_Slope_Borough-AK.html North Slope profile
http://freelevi.org/Real_Time_with_Bill_Maher.html Free Levi
http://snafu-ed.blogspot.com/
http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/2008/10/boo-birds.html Puck Drops Here
http://embeds.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/10/11/palin-drops-puck-at-flyers-game-receives-mixed-reaction/ Boo Piper from Fox News
Posts
2 comments:
AMEN...someone give this guy a lifeline...he is a millionaire and does not know it. I think there is enough money in the Republican Party to keep him hunting for life.
OR...maybe the kid is smart and scaring the hello out of the Republicans right now...you decide.
10 Mil in a bank account off shore that can’t be touched once Palin implodes.
So, was it just me or did the hockey player at the very end of that video mouth "I'd hit that."? ;)
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